“Italian Kisses: meteor shower wishes in love and marriage - Examiner”

Italian Kisses: meteor shower wishes in love and marriage - Examiner

Posted: 28 May 2010 01:26 PM PDT

Comment

For anyone who grew up in the countryside, shooting stars were gifts from Mother Earth sent to us so that we could wish for love and kisses.

As young teens, whenever we knew there would be a meteorite shower, we would be allowed stay up into the wee hours and eat gobs of gelati and count the shooting stars. Yes, the gelati was made in Grandma's kitchen.

Each star we saw would be the number of kisses we would receive, or the number of boys who would fall in love with us.

As adults we know that shooting stars are simply the result of a meteorite shower. And no -- wishes do not come true from star wishing.

A couple's book of star wishes: But our couple's book of wishes arose from this tradition. I remember once during a particularly difficult place in our lives, we sat in a marriage counselor's waiting room. I saw a children's book about stars and began talking about those days of shooting star wishes.

Then the idea of a wishing game occured to me. Yes, there was resistence at first. But, during the 10 minute wait, we suddenly had come to a place where we remembered some of the joy we had lost. It was tenuous, but I reasoned, "We have nothing to lose right now."

What started out as a perfectly silly game of "Star Wishes" helped change our attitude from one of doom to possibilities.The rule was this -- all positive wishes -- nothing such as, "I wish you would stop coming home late at night."

"I wish to see us loving again," said she.

"I wish to see us smile again," said he

"I wish to visit Paris again," said she.

"I wish to laugh as much as we did in the Bistro where you tripped a waiter," said he.

And of course, I had to answer "I did not trip the waiter." We carried the conversation and laughter with us into the therapist's office and then suddenly stiffened as we sat in the chairs.

The therapist said, "You two don't laugh enough anymore. What was so funny?"

Star wishes and celebrations: From that afternoon on we periodically found time for "star wishes" which eventually became a "New Year's Eve Wishing Book" ritual for us for many years.

It is difficult to play this "Wishing" game when you are really angry. But in love and marriage it helps to have excuses for celebrations. In the world of large Italian families there is always a celebration -- a reason to eat, laugh, give and receive hugs and kisses.

As our lives become more complicated, we need to create our own moments to celebrate, moments to wish, to laugh. Tonight is a good one. Go to work late if you must in the morning. But tonight, gather gobs of gelati, watch the shooting stars, then make wishes and love.

Five Filters featured article: The Art of Looking Prime Ministerial - The 2010 UK General Election. Available tools: PDF Newspaper, Full Text RSS, Term Extraction.